Wednesday, 22 February 2017

Which is the part,
Shelf it I guess,
I'll remember it later,
walk at a good pace.

arms in coat pockets,
holding in the sides,
and every now and then,
make sure
the headphone cable is tucked away.
adjust hat.

Look at giant attractive woman made of vinyl sticker,
don't stare, people in cars see you staring,
People in cars, passing on foot, riding past eyes forward on bicycles wearing those weird wrap around glasses... all of those fucks. You are the single focal point of their vision and thought for the entirety of your time in their vicinity. In fact, once you have minced off into the middle distance, they disappear, like conjured birds that are no longer entertaining. puff.

head hurts,
feeling guilt,
feeling lonely,
solipsist anxiety.
call someone,
show you that you are real.
but what about the people that you used to call?
to affirm your benevolence and relevance. to make you feel good and bad and warm and sick.
the ones that you aren't really supposed to call anymore? those fucks. If they have been spirited away, into the great tide of irrelevant infinity, the great beating mass of love and plastic bag anxiety and prioritising holidays and shitting and clapping in false appreciation and breathing too loud and social media account deletion and reactivation and emails to strangers back and forth and back and forth.. If they are there, in that no place, not nearly near, well what then? where does that leave you? what if the next number you dial, as you trickle down through your super premium contacts of best friends and parents and people who also really get that thing that you get so fucking much... what if they disappear in to the many beating hearts of society. what if for all of your pulling them to turn by the shoulder you are only greeted by more backs. I mean, you might as well peel the giant woman from the tanning salon and take it home.

Thursday, 16 February 2017

16/02/17

Box up that bullshit.
wrap it up in cellophane.
sell it in a magazine on a plane.
Ask the attendants to litter sentences with that products name.
Sit back, push the set back into the knees of your rival
look out with perfect perspective, so the window and your drink and the window and your drink and the window are set into the horizon. Fresh to death.




somewhere over the clouds, out past the past and round into the future, looking through the window on the starboard side, boring into the back of your head. The wet ice doesn't taste of whisky any more.




Wednesday, 15 February 2017

15/02/17 or near enough.

Helicopter clicks away, over the flat top building,
there is more life in the smoke from your fag
fuck you and your cigarette. The day is bright.
bright and clean and dusty, sharper lights and sounds
pointlessly clear acoustics.
 there is more life in the smoke.
fuck you and your cigarette.
I feel like I am dipping in and out of wifi range,
playing that game on Google
with the dinosaur
              jumping over the cactuses,
and then writing a long Facebook message
and then it won't send,
and then I'm jumping over cactuses.

Monday, 19 January 2015

to think it could all be torn up in an instant


The bordering might not hold
I don't understand how to format a document
what if the line ran on
 unbeknownst to me in my blind ramblings
so that most of the meaning lay there off to the right
somewhere missing the concrete certainty of the block text
where everything is neat and comprehensible
oh what a surprising flounce of behaviour

it is a stupid paranoia
to worry about a tangent
an arc dying out in the dark
like a firework
I don't know which type of firework
I don't care

but there
is the real paranoia
what if I follow the wrong decision
what if I get lost in the dark
far past the border
that contains our shared memory
our shared minds
where we agree/ talk
all neat and comprehensible
and tangents are still beautiful

Saturday, 4 October 2014

Бездельник

We would have to make an enormous effort
to make our paths intersect even a little
I would have to book a ticket every month
I don't earn enough money...
and the time difference is hard
I can't even keep track of getting enough sleep
let alone know when you would or might want to be sleeping
I used to know when you were eating
I usually ate the same thing
I used to sleep better when you were sleeping
I used to sleep late so that you would get enough sleep
because you really don't sleep all that well in general

this isn't going to work like this.
with you lighting cigarettes without me
falling in love without me seeing it
I can't just hear about it from you
you don't fucking know whats going on

Tuesday, 2 September 2014

don't

keep talking about the times
before i got here,
before i exist
thinking about that...
its like, i mean
pfft
I'm balling my head up in a fist

Tuesday, 26 August 2014

friend

I hope you'll give me one more chance,
to picture the storms in glasses.
the wood grain is more than enough,
to feel or to taste.
for a night or a week.
with you beside me
we can be only
    ignore the great uncertainty
that rages beyond the door